Question:
My husband bought me some sexy lingerie but I don’t want to wear it because I’m really embarrassed of my thighs and bottom. He keeps asking to see me in what he bought for me, but I just can’t face showing off my body to him — I have cellulite and I don’t feel sexy like the models who sell these outfits. How can I avoid wearing the lingerie and how can I stop him from buying more?
Answer:
In today’s society, we are saturated with “thin is in” messages leaving women and men believing that the waif-ish pre-pubescent silhouette is our ideal of sexiness. So it’s understandable that a woman with some curves around her thighs and bum can suffer some self consciousness in today’s world, which harshly judges anyone who dares to have a little extra jiggle. You know what, though? Women’s thighs and bums are designed to have a few curves. And what’s more, many men appreciate those curves.
Your husband knows what you look like — he shares your house and life with you. He is buying you lingerie because he adores you, finds you sexy, wants you to feel sexy too, and wants to physically appreciate you wearing something he thinks is just as sexy as you.
Many women can feel self-conscious accepting a gift of lingerie, because without having tried it on, they don’t know if it will look fabulously erotic or maximise their assets and hide their perceived flaws. As long as the lingerie fits, there are ways to wear it to make you feel a little more comfortable and to give him the delight in seeing you in it that he so looks forward to. One tip is to put it on at night, seduce him in it, and set up your bedroom with candles across the room from the bed. The candles throw enough light to see, but as you near the bed, it gets darker, and any issues you have with your thighs and bum are minimised.
Another point to bear in mind which might help give you more confidence to wear the lingerie your husband bought you, is that a man who buys little sexy things to wear for his partner has her in his mind … not the model on the advertisement. A man is visually focused on what is before him — and in this case, it’s you, wearing something he thinks looks beautiful on you. A man makes love with the woman who is between the sheets with him. The one he can touch, smell, taste, caress and adore.
Research also shows that men find women who are body and sexually confident a turn on. They prefer making love with a woman who loves to have sex with him, loves to be with him, than one who simply has the ideal figure, but doesn’t express desire to be with him. So, the key here is to feel sexy and translate that feeling to your husband.
Do you feel sexy in any part of the lingerie he bought you? If so, go for it! If not, shop for a slip that matches or coordinates with the lingerie that helps to cover the area(s) of your body that you feel self conscious about. Or else buy some lingerie yourself, in a style that makes you feel sexy, and surprise him in it. It’s best to do this after you’ve worn the lingerie he’s bought you, otherwise his feelings are likely to be hurt.
So while you asked me for advice on how to stop the lingerie issue in your household, I would actually suggest you do wear the lingerie … and allow your husband to buy you more of it … and maybe even shop for it together. Everyone deserves to feel sexy. Let your husband adorn and adore you.
June 13th, 2010 at 3:39 pm
What I perceived from that excellent article is that the logos have become less artistic over the years. I guess everyone wants to simplify to make their logos easier to remember.
June 16th, 2010 at 7:05 pm
just what goes up, must come down?